


The Idol and her Fan

by Masterweaver



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Episode 11 Spoilers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16990998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterweaver/pseuds/Masterweaver
Summary: "You're my only real fan left."





	The Idol and her Fan

Ai leaned against the balcony door and watched Sakura stare out at the city. Not a twitch, not a flicker of action passed over her face; even her rosy hair, ruffled by the light breeze, seemed unnaturally still.

She sighed, pinching her brow.

Sakura didn’t even acknowledge her as she passed, sat down on the bench next to her. Her hands didn’t clench, her breathing remained steady and slow. Her eyes didn’t break from the scene before her.

“…I checked the dates. You died four months before I did.”

That didn’t get a reaction.

Ai shrugged. “I was on stage, you know. Struck by lightning, in front of… oh, a thousand, two thousand people? Fans, or friends of fans… I woke up in the ambulance, for a bit, and I remember I was whimpering. My friends were there, begging for me to hold on, begging the paramedics to do their best, begging the driver to go faster… all that begging, and I couldn’t stay awake. And then… well, I woke up here. Ten years gone.”

Sakura let out a low breath. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“In some ways, you’re my last fan left. Everyone else, they remember Ai Mizuno, the girl who got struck by lightning. You’re the only one who can think of my music and not see that. You’re the only one I can still inspire–well, as Ai Mizuno, anyway. Not as Franchouchou Singer 3. Of course, I guess that only works if I inspired you before… if I was just some idol in your past, then I guess you don’t have to listen to me.”

“Tch.” Sakura moved her head just slightly, away from her. It might have been a slamming door, if there had been more energy behind it.

Ai couldn’t see her face. She considered her next move for a moment.

“…Everyone is worried for you, you know. Saki’s grumbling up a storm. Lily is just… lost, asking questions. Yugiri’s doing her best, but she can’t come up with answers for her. Junko’s been distracted during practice, I don’t know if you’ve noticed that. I think she’s staying up late, reading books on the mind. Even Tae… she used to be so lively, but when you’re not in the room these days she just… sags in a corner. They…”

Ai paused.

“… _We_  all want to help you.”

“You should tell them not to waste time on a lost cause.”

“Oh, I did,” Ai assured her. “Lots of times. Dozens of times. Ever since we woke up as zombies, I said: Kotaro’s plan isn’t going to work. I outlined the hazards. I pointed out how even ordinary groups would have issues getting their name out there, and they at least had training. We had, let me go down the list here: a still-feral zombie, a snarky grade schooler, a woman out of time, an outdated shy girl, a gung-ho biker captain, and the cynical former idol suffering from PTSD. And don’t get me started on the amnesiac, she had no idea what the hell she was doing. I told them, from the get-go, we are  _destined_  to fail.”

Sakura turned her head toward her. “…You said that?”

“Yep. I remember very clearly saying that the moment, the very moment that I felt this was going to fall apart, I was out.” Ai smiled grimly. “And I remember the amnesiac girl say right back: ‘We’ll make sure that moment never comes.’“

Sakura looked away.

“…You know what else that amnesiac girl did? She walked with me, the first time I snuck out of the mansion, made sure I was safe when I got shot at. And she called me out for giving up.” Ai looked out on the scenery. “She tore into Saki for not caring what happened, now that we were dead–got her on board with a plan she didn’t like. She followed Junko after she got rattled by the changes in the modern Idol industry, making sure she was safe. When Lily’s father showed up at our shows, and the girl broke down in tears at not being able to help him… that amnesiac girl was the one to hold her, comfort her. Whenever Yugiri needed to ask something about modern culture, she was there with an answer. And Tae… Tae always needed special attention, help getting dressed or staying out of trouble, and that girl not only provided it, she never talked down to her. Always treated her with respect. She did so much for us. And now we just want to help her.”

“…I’m not her, though.”

Ai sighed, leaning against the bench. “…yeah… maybe you’re not. People aren’t just the body. They’re the breadth of experience, memories and relationships. You remember your life before dying, and she remembered her life after. Funny thing–she always did want to recall what she was like, before she died…”

“Stupid girl.” Sakura shook her head. “I’d do anything to forget.”

“Really.”

“Yes, really! I’m… I’m nothing special.” Sakura shook her head. “Every time I tried to do something, I failed. No matter how hard I tried… I was going to apply to be an idol, that day. I had done all the research, practiced as hard as I could, i had the papers, I walked out the door, and I was hit by a truck.” She shut her eyes. “I’m destined to fail.”

Ai nodded. “Mmm. Destiny. Some people say it’s something we can’t control, that it’s all luck and chance and fate. Lily couldn’t control the heart attack that killed her. Junko couldn’t control the failed engine on her plane. I certainly couldn’t control that lightning bolt that hit me.”

She smiled wryly. “Or the second one, that hit us all.”

“…what?”

“Oh yes. At the Saga Rock performance, we all got hit by lightning. Destiny, right? Perform in a thunderstorm, get hit by lightning… only this time, I wasn’t fried to a crisp. I was glowing–we were all literally glowing. Our voices were enhanced, we… it was incredible. I said, from the getgo, that Franchouchou was destined to fail. And oh boy, did we ever skirt that edge a lot. But… I was destined to be remembered as Ai Mizuno, the girl struck by lightning, so I decided to spit in destiny’s face.”

“My life is nothing but one big failure!” Sakura shouted. “Loss, after loss, after loss, no matter how hard I work!”

“Well you’re not alive anymore, are you?”

“Don’t you get it?” The rose-haired zombie stood up. “I’m not like you, Ai Mizuno! I can’t…. Every mistake, it weighs on me, I can’t… I can’t just, move on like that! I know that if I get on that stage, I’m going to drag you all down with me! I…” She looked away. “…I’m not… worth this. I’m not… I can’t have you all crash and burn because of me. The Sakura you knew, I’m not her.”

Ai took a breath, pushing herself off the bench. “No. I… I won’t lie, I want my friend back, but… that’s not fair to you. This is painful for all of us. For us, because now we have to deal with a stranger wearing our friend’s face and know she isn’t to blame. For you… you who’s lost everything, who has so many expectations thrown on her, and nobody you know to turn to. This isn’t fair, this isn’t right. Maybe you’re not the Sakura we want. Maybe…”

She glanced away. “Maybe you never will be again.”

Sakura lowered her gaze.

“…But.” Ai grabbed her hands. “You’re the Sakura we have. And we need a Sakura.”

“It’ll all go horribly.”

“Maybe. But those people, coming to the performance? They’re expecting all of Franchouchou. Zero through Six. If you’d wanted to jump ship earlier, when we were still figuring ourselves out–or even after our big break, when we could pretend you were overwhelmed by the fame, we could have spun it. If you want to leave after this… sometimes groups fall apart. The audience would understand. But for this one performance? If even one of us is missing, it’s not Franchouchou. It’s just a bunch of girls who can sing. You step onto that stage, maybe there will be fireworks, or maybe, yes, we’ll all crash and burn. You stay off that stage, though, and there won’t be a single spark.”

She brushed a lock of hair out of the girl’s face. “It’s not fair to demand this of you. You’re not our Sakura Minamoto… but you’re the only one we’ve got.”

Sakura sighed. “You know… none of the others said this.”

“No. They were worried about their friend. I am too. And… even knowing you’re somebody different now… it’ll take time to look at you and not see her.”

Ai lifted Sakura’s chin. “But whether she comes back or not, you’re here now. And I’d like to be your friend, for as long as you’re staying.”

Sakura tried to look away from her intense brown eyes. “Why?”

“…Like I said. You’re my only real fan left. The only one I can still really inspire. And I’ll be damned if I left my fans entirely without hope.”

Tears fell from Sakura’s eyes. “I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I can’t remember her…”

“It’s okay.” Ai wrapped her arms around her. “It’s okay, Sakura. It’s going to be okay.”

 


End file.
